Jesus to his disciples: No I'm not talking about Twitter, I literally want you all to follow me!

Boy to God: Why does she loves a rose which dies in a day but not me who dies for her everyday?

God: Beedu mast hai, Facebook pe daal!

:-P

A virgin in France: Any girl under 18
A virgin in US: Any girl under 16
A virgin in Pakistan: Any goat who can run faster!

Bedroom smells after marriage:
1st 3 months: Flowers & perfumes
1-3 years: Baby powder & baby oil
After 20 years: Vicks, Zandu balm & Iodex!

How does Yash Chopra feel every time he sees Uday Chopra?
I wish I had jerked off that night!!! :-P

Never give up on something you really want. It is difficult to wait, but more difficult is the regret.

Just when you think you have found the answer, Life goes ahead and changes the question! ;-)

बेख़बर हो गए हैं कुछ लोग जो हमारी ज़रूरत तक महसूस नहीं करते। कभी बहुत बातें किया करते थे हमसे अब ख़ैरियत तर पूछा नहीं करते।

उन्होने दूर रहने का मशवरा लिखा हैं, साथ में दोस्ती का वास्ता लिखा हैं। लिखा हैं मत आना मेरे दर पे कभी, और साफ़ लफ़्जों में घर का पता लिखा हैं

SHOLAY (2012)
Gabbar: Arey O Sambha kitne aadmi the?
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Sambha: Saaala..!! Tu Gay hi rahega! :-P

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Wife Hinted to her husband for a New
Car this Valentine's Day!
"Dear! Buy me something that
goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds,
When I am on it."
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Husband gifted Her- A "Weighing
Machine" :D